Thursday, June 30, 2016

Thankful Thursday | people: what a bunch of bastards

When I uploaded a link to my last Thankful Thursday post on Facebook, my sister, Sierra, commented, "I'm just going to add myself to your list, since everyone else is on it." (And I replied, like a good sister, "I am never thankful for you. You are a constant burden to me. OBVIOUSLY.") It's a painful realization, but my relationship with Sierra is probably the one I take most for granted of all my relationships. She has been my buddy for so long, I can't really remember my life without her (though I did exist on this planet for five whole years without a sister by my side). I have lost so much family over the years to "irreconcilable differences," and also there is technical family who never really lived up to the role, people who have never been a part of my life. To take my sister for granted is a dangerous play. Our relationship changed the year we both got pregnant. These babies of ours bonded us. These three years with children, it has been Sierra more than any other person who has kept me sane, made me feel normal, who has shared the particular and intense disappointments and triumphs of motherhood. Sierra is my mommy group, and she is my therapist. She is also Martigan's second mother. I would be impoverished and unhappy were it not for Sierra's willingness to just be with my boy. Of course I am thankful, every day, for my sister--for her peculiar sense of humor, for her peculiar brand of beauty, for her quiet support, for her realness, for her conversation, for her love of my son, for her love of me (even though I have not always deserved it)--so perhaps I should express that gratitude aloud.

I Am Grateful:
  • for wild trumpet vines, which always remind me of Grandma.
  • for that minutes long pause I take after parking the car to finish listening to The Knacks "My Sharona".
  • that gas station hoses are so long, because I never do a very good job of parking next to the pumps.
  • for Wolfman, always and in every way, but especially when he so carefully hands me that first cup of hot coffee in the morning.
  • for the fresh eggs my mother-in-law delivers to me at work.
  • for each customer who tells me, "I love this place," (or like) and then actually buys something.
  • for little messages from people I care about, left anywhere on social media.
  • for Wolfman's spot-on Chris O'Dowd impression (and that he's memorized so much of The IT Crowd's dialogue), which he breaks out when I'm feeling stressed and disappointed.

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