Thankful Thursday | repeat to yourself 'it's just a show, I should really just relax'

I used to wonder what it would be like to be in love on Valentine's Day. I started imagining my life with a partner in high school, but it seemed like such an impossibility. I knew I was pretty and smart and all those things we're told (or, at least, it is implied) make finding love easy, but I was also wounded and guarded, immature and awkward. I didn't know if love would ever find me. I never hated Valentine's Day, though; I don't think I was ever bitter about it, even as I approached my mid-twenties having never fallen in love. I just thought: how nice that must be, to know that the holiday doesn't mean much and is cheesy, but to wrap yourself in the security and privilege of it regardless. I am grateful to have tripped into a love that's lasted nearly a decade now. I am grateful to spend Valentine's Day with Jared, my husband, the Wolfman. I am grateful for his love for me and my love for him and that our love created Mads, the true love of our lives.

I Am Grateful:

• that so much of my wardrobe is green.
• that so much of my wardrobe is pink.
• that so much of my wardrobe is black.
• for the way Wolfman looks at me; I never dreamed of being looked at that way by such a beautiful man.
• for the company of Lunchbox and Thorn, breathing (wheezing) in my bedroom with me on nights I fall asleep without Wolfman, while he works or records music.
• to eat like a queen, more bread and meat than is decent, even though I'd meant to do a whole foods fast for the New Moon.
• when Wolfman, without prompting, hands me a bottle of hard cider, top already popped, at the end of a long day.
• for the smell of brioche buns.
• for the sound of Mads and Ella chewing Bojangles "bo rounds" (hash brown bites) in the backseat of the car in the morning.
• for my gentle husband, who lets me rant, giving me so much space and respect.
• for flickering candlelight.
• for working brake lights.
• for chocolate glaze.
• for the National Park Service.
• for the costume design of Sam Raimi's fantasy shows.
• for talking god stuff.
• to the Uber driver who tells me I look pretty as she drops me off at work one morning.
• for vines that creep up walls and plants that grow in the cracks of walls and sidewalks.
• while singing along to the MST3K theme song with Wolfman.